101 Ways to Annoy Itachi Uchiha
by FreeFly629
Summary: 101 ways to annoy our favorite Uchiha super-villain, surefire ways to get him to try to kill you and pop a few veins here and there! Enjoy!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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**While walking, Deidara picked up a note

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**1-Poke him. In the forehead.  
2-Pretend you're another Uchiha who somehow survived.  
3-When ever Sasuke gets near, scream 'MY UCHIHA SENSES ARE TINGLING!' proving your point  
4-Insist he still loves Sasuke  
5-Say that he killed his clan because he was jealous of Sasuke's **great** and **awesome power**, and couldn't handle the pressure  
6-Emphasize **great** and **awesome**  
7-Every time he says something, turn it into a 'Your face' insult. Example: Hi! Hi your face. You're strange. Your face is strange. You lack good insults. Your face lacks good insults. I'm awesome. Your face is awesome. Repeat.  
8-Get creeped out by the sharingan. Ask if it's a genetic mutation or a sign of radioactivity.  
9-Ask him if it's red-eye  
10-When ever he says something, make it into a conspiracy theory. Example: Shut up or I'll use my mangekyo You: What mangekyo? There's no mangekyo! That's ridiculous, what is this 'mangekyo' you speak of ? There's no mangekyo, there never has been! This works best if he actually uses the mangekyo on you and you say it afterwards  
11-Become an Itachi fangirl  
12-Ask him about the lines on his eyes.  
13-If they're insomnia, lecture him on the benefits of a good night's rest.  
14-Call him emo15-Insist Sasuke's cuter  
16-When ever he talks, break into hysterical laugher  
17-If he asks, sigh, shake your head, and laugh again  
18-Sing 'Pop goes the Weasel' and dance around him  
19-Show him UchihaCest fics.  
20-When ever he does something, say, "I bet _Sakura _would want to know about this" and wink  
21-Insist he's a girl because of his ponytail.  
22-Say that Itachi's a funny name  
23-Draw chibi female Itachi's  
24-Become a Mary-Sue  
25-Declare him your true love in a fake high-pitched voice.  
26-Get 13 toothbrushes, and lay them next to each other, and separate one. Laugh hysterically at it. When he asks, don't say anything  
27-After a while, say, figures _you_ wouldn't understand. Laugh hysterically at him.  
28-Continuously mutter under your breath 'Weasel weasel weasel weasel…'  
29-When he asks you to stop, look up innocently  
30-Ask if he's been hearing things. Call a psychologist  
31-Or even better-- therapist. Separate the 'the' and the rest of the word and you'll see what I mean.  
32-Spell his name as Uchia  
33-Buy him many, many toys. Call them all Sasuke.  
34-Have them all mysteriously fall out the window one day. Blame it on him pressuring Sasuke to commit suicide.  
35-Dye his cloak pink.36-Follow him around, spraying everything he touches with disinfectant.  
37-When talking to him, look at a spot a little to the right of his face.  
38-Buy him things. Ugly, frilly things.  
39-Cry when he doesn't wear them  
40-If he does, glomp him and say in a high pitched voice, "I knew you would! You're my hero!"  
41-Do that anytime he does ANYTHING. e.g Brush his teeth, pick up a pen  
42-Develop an unnatural fear of boxes.  
43-Insist that boxes are trying to take over the world. Relate everything to boxes  
44-Steal his nailpolish  
45-Cut off his ponytail. **Run**.  
46-Add maniacal laughter at the end of every sentence.  
47-Lecture him on his evilness. Give him tips  
48-Insist he didn't do the maniacal laugh correctly in 386, and it needed more of structure and ooomph  
49-Every time you do something or see something, say it's lacking Itachi-style (Everytime you eat something, point at it and say something like, "YOU…YOU…ARE WEAK. WHY ARE YOU WEAK? BECAUSE YOU LACK SALT".)  
50-Perform bad Itachi-impersonations in front of him.  
51-Give him shark-fin soup. Run when he asks about Kisame.  
52-Write yaoi lemon fanfics about him and Kisame.  
53-Become a Sasuke fangirl and obsess about him everytime you talk to Itachi  
54-Buy him 'Sharingan for Dummies' or 'Evil in 24 days' for his birthday  
55-Give it long after his birthday, throwing him a party  
56-Insist that it's his birthday over and over again  
57-Insist that the red clouds on his cloak are really flowers  
58-Go into a long psychological lecture about how he's still just a tool being used by the Akatsuki  
59-Tell him that violence doesn't solve anything and demand an apology to Sasuke  
60-Replace his shuriken with fake plastic cosplay ones  
61-Constantly point out his similarities with Ino. Insist that they're an OTP  
62-Insist he's really 50 and a pedophile in disguise  
63-Draw on his face  
64-Show him ItaKisa fanart  
65-Search for him on DeviantArt and show him the results  
66-Hide embarrassing 'adult content' in his room where other members will find it  
67-Call him in congratulations about his new daughter. Hang up when he asks.  
68-Call him and start yelling at him to stay away from your daughter, and demand money for an abortion. When he insists that he has no clue about what you're talking about, yell "That's wat they all say!"  
69-Insist there _is no number 69._ Make sure you make no sense and have faulty logic.  
70-Convince him he has a blue dot on his head. When he goes to check, run.  
71-Insist he needs glasses.  
72-Ask if he gets discounts because of his vision impairment.  
73-Get him a seeing-eye dog  
74-Better yet, a seeing-eye weasel  
75-Make the weasel wear an Akatsuki cloak, and give it a ponytail with a ribbon  
76-Insist that he and the weasel make a perfect couple  
77-Dye his hair pink.  
78-Keep on making references to a secret affair with Madara.  
79-Call him a n00b. Not noob, n00b. Say it in an obnoxious strange voice  
80-Insert random nonsense Japanese words at random points in the conversation.  
81-Say this: You are weak…why are you weak? Because you lack it. You lack…LOVE!! –I really want to say that to him…  
82-At random points, scream "OHMYGOD IT'S SASUKE! HIDE!" and duck.  
83-Speak in a dazed, calm voice, and keep on saying "See you on the island" and "They keep us there because we know too much"  
84-Comment about how much an idiot he is for killing his clan to test his capacity, and that if he wanted to do that, he should've killed another clan. Duh.  
85-Keep on bothering him for the _real_ reason he killed his clan.  
86-Challenge him to a staring contest (I advise running before this starts)  
87-At random moments, mention '393', looking grim towards Itachi. When he doesn't understand, shake your head.  
88-Pretend you're bipolar.  
89-Repeat every third third word you say say.  
90-Ask him why he wears nailpolish.  
91-Replace his nailpolish with sparkly pink polish.  
92-Say that perfume also works as breath spray.  
93-Post him trying on YouTube  
94-Make an ItaSaku AMV  
95-Show him videos of him singing 'Barbie Girl'  
96-Burst out laughing, saying 'Itachi' at random moments.  
97-Insist he's blind  
98-Pretend you're Itachi and respond to girlfriend requests with 'yes'  
99-Conveniently set up all dates on the same day and restaurant  
100-Do all the previous.  
101-Show him this list.

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An evil grin crept across his face

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**LOL please review! I've done and had many of these things done to me, they're pretty fun to do. **


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